Accountability in Relationships: Practical Ways to Be Accountable

by Chloe' Flowers

Navigating relationships as an adult requires understanding and compassion. Loving another human being can be one of the most profound things we do in this lifetime. Learning the art of how to ‘mesh’ with another person is no small feat. There are times we will fall short because we are human, and have human experiences. There are also times we realize how much someone impacts our lives for the better. For the ultimate foundation when building with others, we must learn how to forgive and hold space. We have to learn tenderness, and what it is to embrace someones’ nature. It’s imperative that we maintain clear boundaries, learn how to be responsible for our actions, and build security when pursuing parallel growth. Today we will lightly discuss how to practice accountability in relationships. 


Accountability in Romantic Relationships


We must realize our partners will not always fulfill our every need. We have to be understanding when they don’t live up to the expectations we’ve placed on them. Sometimes, when we love someone a great deal, we put them on an impractical pedestal. Putting our partners on pedestals is damaging, because we are flawed and make mistakes all the time. It’s easy to love someone when everything is sunny, but true love exposes itself in the unthinkable moments. How are the two of you able to lean into each other in a time of despair ? In life’s unpredictability, how will your relationship combat hardship ? A major part of taking accountability in relationships is accepting the many versions of your significant other. 


Accountability for the relationship is welcoming the hungry, irritable, depressed and broken versions of them as well. In our romantic relationships we may focus more on our needs and expectations opposed to the ideals of our partner. This can create turmoil and many other unhealthy habits within the union. You have to accept others wholeheartedly, if you want to be accepted fully. Loving your partner when they’re  only in tip top shape is the opposite of relationship accountability. True love is waking up everyday and making the decision to be alongside this person, regardless of what version of them you receive moment to moment. 


Accountability In Friendships


Friendships require accountability, because friendships are a personal choice. Friendships are most magical in their ability to look many different ways. Although friendship requires “less work” than romantic relationships, there’s still a need for devotion. Your friends are your chosen family, and people who are sharing your life with you. Friendship bonds are what save you when your romantic relationship is failing. Friendships are that unwavering support that could last a lifetime, but has to be primed. Knowing how to apologize in friendships goes a long way. Committing to spending time and catching up with your friends when you can is essential. Being genuine and respectful is the foundation of accountability within your friendships. Friends can feel when we are present, presence is accountability.  


Accountability in relationships and friendships looks like putting your happiness first. The moment you begin to neglect who you are, the more unhealthy your relationships will get. Prioritizing your own peace and enjoyment will foster stronger bonds within your life. The way to spread positivity to those in your life is to create it within you first. If you are always trying to satisfy those around you, you will run out of energy to keep yourself afloat. Overcompensation will result in resentment and blame games, which are a disaster recipe for your precious bonds. Allowing yourself and your loved ones to be free, and choose themselves is internal and external appreciation. Keep in mind that relationships are to be handled gently, when they are sacred and built to last. Always be mindful of the way you care for your friends, and lovers. 


Photo By: Ronan Mckenzie

Related Posts in Wellness:

Learning When and How to Apologize

Strengthening Familial Relationships

Prioritizing Yourself By Creating Boundaries


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