Friday June 3rd 2016
The Kid’s Going to be Alright
The Kid’s Going to be Alright By Tamu McPherson
This week my Friend Michal and took PJ rules out for a “burger bonanza”. Michal is such a great friend to both myself and Piero and spoils him rotten. For this particular dinner date, Piero decided to wear a suit when he heard that we were dining at the Bulgari which, by the way, hands down has one of the most extravagant burgers in town (toppings include onion rings, bacon, BBQ sauce and salad) – it’s worth the guilt. After enjoying our costume tailored burgers – no bacon, please add avocado, definitely no mayo, we looked at the desert menu. With a ton of super sophisticated items listed, Piero decided that he would indulge in some of the marshmallows that they offer in the lobby (marshmallows, peach candies, gummy bottles). I mentioned that we would grab some as we left to the server and she said that it was no problem to bring some to the table. When the marshmallows arrived, Piero stopped for an instant before opening the specially wrapped bag to think about something. When he was done, he raised his head and asked if anyone would care for some. Michal and I were both taken aback as the gesture was so sweet, unexpected and grown up. What wonderful manners. I was so proud of him.
Piero, almost 9-years-old, attends school from 9:00 a.m. – 3:00 p.m., has structured activities three times a week, two play dates and two tutor sessions every weekend. Yes, like many of your children, he’s a real busy little guy. His nanny picks him up from school and shuttles him to his various actives. In the end, we see him at breakfast, on the ride to school, after 6:00 p.m., at dinner and on the weekends. When we are with him, we make up for the missing time with lots of hugs and kisses, indulgences as well as discipline. And maybe because we don’t spend as much time with him as we would like, it seems like we spend 96% percent of the time disciplining him. Eat properly, sit up don’t slouch, shake hands when you greet someone for the first time, look into their eyes, say please and thank you, sit still, slow down, don’t chew on your clothes, don’t wipe your hands on your clothes, don’t wipe your nose on your clothes, WASH your hands. Basically an assault of discipline, which is often frustrating for our party of three. On our end the intention is first and foremost love, then there is a little misguided expectation that Piero should automatically know not to do the things that we are correcting him about, and finally and unfortunately a lack of patience on our part (we should all be more patient!). But as the little guy gets older, it’s clear that he is absorbing our lessons and he increasingly surprises us with moments like the one at our burger bonanza. And with every example, we are forced to take a step back and acknowledge the amazing little person that he is becoming. It’s then that we realize that in the grand scheme of things, that sometimes we need to take an edge off our disciplining and let him be a child, that he will learn all of the expected social cues and that patience is the key. Because in the end, the kid’s going to be ALRIGHT!